FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
