M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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