I wish I could teleport
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
