found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
