I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
