the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
