Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Too much gin, very little bucket
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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