he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
