how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
