I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
