I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
