Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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