My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
