Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
