Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
