Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize