Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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