Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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