ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
