Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
