just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
