So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize