Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
