My brain says no but my pants say off.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
