So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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