So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
