she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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