I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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