sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
