You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
