I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
