love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize