i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
