he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
