I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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