I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need to calm my uterus...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
