Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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