He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize