do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
