He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
