I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
