dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize