i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
