if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
