Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize