I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
