Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
