yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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