He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
