I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
