if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
