went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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