i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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