Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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