great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize