If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
