I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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