Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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