I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just high enough for therapy.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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