Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
