That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
