Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
