I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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