He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
