it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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