I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
